a Fresh Start

I haven't been blogging for a long time here...perhaps because my two little ones, among life, keep me busy.  Doesn't mean adoption isn't still near and dear to my heart.  One day I would love the opportunity to adopt one more sweet baby...I don't feel like my family is complete yet. 

Yes, two kids, a dog, a fish, greatest husband and father in the world and the countless family members we proudly claim our own through geneology, biology, adoption and community; definitely sounds like the  completion of a family.  But are we really "complete"...in my heart, it tells me "no".

As my children grow each day, and never cease to amaze me, I count my many blessings and thank my Father in Heaven for the gift they are to me.  I know that my children are His children that I am entrusted and honored to raise while on this earth.  And I know that they are truly a gift from those on this earth that brought them here and gave them breath and life and then unconditionally and lovingly gave to us.  So is it asking too much to hold just one more teeny one in my arms, one last time, before the sands of time age us all too fast?

Well, the purpose of this blog truly is for the support and friendship of those out there needing someone to listen.  Please, feel free to share, to cry, to listen and just be there for others, here.

If you wish to share your own story or have questions, please email me your post at foreverweeks@yahoo.com
and I will post it here.  Thank you for visiting and hopefully joining me here.  I would really like to get this blog up and active again.

mother of Kya and Zander

Birthmother perspective

http://birthmamadrama.blogspot.com/2011/01/faqs-for-yours-truly.html

Finally...Zander's story

Well, it only took me a year or more to get back to this story. Again and apology to those who had been following, and probably have lost interest due to my neglect...so I am sure that the last part of this story is just for my benefit of journaling. But better late than never, right?

So after we got the call that a birthmother had chosen us...it was difficult to believe it since we hadn't been contacted personally by anyone. This was on a thursday. We left town the next day to spend the weekend with Carl's parents and while gone we recieved an email from Zander's birthparents. It was a fabulous email, they told us all about themselves, sent pictures and even told a little about how they came about to choose us.

A few months prior after we had moved and somewhat settled down (at least in my parents house while we remodeled our home) I was sleeping one night until around 2 am our daughter woke me up to potty. When I went back to bed, I lay there awake thinking about the blog that I had been neglecting (sounds like a horrible pattern) and I wasn't able to go back to sleep, it was weighing on me. So, at 3:00 am I got up, went to my computer and posted an update, clearly stating that we were busy, but I felt it was important to post something. This was on a Wednesday evening, the very Wednesday evening before we got the call from Zander's birthparents on Thursday.

In the email we received Zander's birthmother stated that she was having a difficult time choosing and had a few couples in mind. She had been following our blog and was disappointed that I hadn't been keeping up on it. She wanted to learn more about us and get to know us more, but we hadn't updated in a few months. She finally prayed and asked for some answer as to who should be Zander's parents, she asked that we post on our blog...her prayer was on Wednesday.

She said her prayers were answered when she got onto the blog and we had posted...she knew we were Zander's parents.

She was only about 14 weeks pregnant and wanted to get to know his parents and develop a relationship with us well before the birth. We met them in person two months later when they came to Idaho and stayed with us for a weekend. After we continued to email and call as much as possible. In December of 2008 I flew to Denver to spend a weekend with Zander's birthparents one last time before he was born. She wanted a little more one on one time with me.

It was a difficult road during her pregnancy; emotions ran high, things were said that I am sure we all wish we could take back, but in the process, we also developed a relationship of honesty, trust and respect. I value our open communication, it has served us all well these past almost two years.

Her due date was nearing and I told her that when she got to 4 centimeters, to call me and I would pack up and head to Denver. She had a doctor's appointment a week before she was due and called me, reporting that she was not in labor, but at 4 centimeters. This was Monday the 26th of January. I packed up, called my husband and said, "I am leaving for Denver tonight, are you able to come or should we fly you out later". He decided he would come too and so we packed up the family, taking Kya with us and we left. We stopped to stay with Carl's parents for the night and then drove the next day all day to Denver, arriving around 3:00 pm that afternoon.

I called Tess to let her know we had arrived, but she wasn't feeling well and told us to give her some time to feel better before seeing her. So we drove to our friends house to wait.

Two hours later, she called and said she was heading to the hospital. We met her there and she was admitted and we were all ready for baby #2 to arrive....the rest of the story is for another blog and another day.

An Apology

For those who have followed this blog in the past and then sat waiting for me to finish our little Zander's story...I apologize for what I can only explain as some laziness and a lot of busy-ness. I have been really busy, now with TWO little ones and Zander being "spirited", I have neglected to update on this blog.

I am headed out to do a photo session for a new adoption family and was researching to prepare...stumbled on my blog, only to be reminded that I haven't posted. I do intend on finishing Zander's story....until then, just a note for now.

Zander's Story...Part 2

So I didn't get back to the story the next week. Oops! But I am back now and here is Part 2 of Zander's Story.

When last left off, we had transferred our adoption profile from the Denver, Colorado office to our now Idaho office. This was in June of 2008. We bought a home and began to remodel, which helped us put the adoption "out of site, out of mind", so to speak. Sometimes its easier to be busy, so that everyday you are not reminded of the "waiting" period.

Sometime in mid July, Carl and I were working on the house and needed a break. We took off to grab a bite to eat for lunch. May I paint a pretty little picture: Carl and I in our grubbies, hat on head, no makeup (for me at least, ha) and just dirty, dirty, dirty. We are eating in a fast food restaurant and my cell phone rings. No thought, I pick it up. It was our caseworker saying that there was a birthmother considering us, but she was also looking at several other families.

Both Carl and I began to cry, right there in the restaurant. With the way we looked, I am sure people around us thought maybe we were homeless and at "rock bottom", when really we had hope. We were being considered. That's when it all felt real, again.

I have a little guy that needs my attention right now and a daughter that wants some attention too. So, this will be another break from the story. I will not wait so long for the next one, this time.

Zander's Adoption Story

This one is close to my heart because Zander is our son. Our story really begins on 26 of July 2008.

A little history: After we adopted Kya, we knew we would want to adopt again, but of course we decided to wait until she was one year old. On her first birthday, I asked my husband..."so, are we going to get our paperwork going now?" We both decided to wait a little bit. Carl was just finishing grad school and we had been applying for jobs. So we thought it best to wait until we find a job and settle somewhere.

When Carl and I were married, and shortly after he decided on a degree for his career (before children were even in the picture) we always talked about places we would want to live. The only place we could agree on was Colorado. So that always stuck with us. Carl was offered a job in Colorado Springs, CO in the summer of 2007, the summer Kya turned 1.

We made the move to Colorado in October of 2007. Found a town house and began to set roots. Of course in November of 2007 we started our paperwork for another adoption. We went through the process of paperwork, decisions, classes, backgrounds checks and the whole works from start to finish again in Denver, CO this time. We were approved in March of 2008.

About this same time Carl was offered his job in Idaho again, they wanted him back. And we explored options of opening a business in Idaho, plus, family is in Idaho. So we decided to make the move back home near family. We hadn't heard from any birthmoms at this point.

We moved in June 2008.

I had a blog set up for birthmoms to go to and learn more about our family. I tried to update weekly, mostly with our Friday Night Date/Family Nights. Well, with the move and so many other things going on, I had neglected the blog.

We transferred our adoption profile to the office in Idaho and then began to wait, again.

This is where I will stop my story and continue next week with....the rest of the story. I will also post a seperate post on Placement. This is kind of a ceremonial act of "placing" the baby in the adoptive home, or parents arms, really.

Until next week

My name is Mindy, my husband I have been married for almost 4 years and have been TTC for just over 2 years. We are still working with the doctors but I feel like it's taking forever and we are not sure how long it will take. The last I heard from my doctor was "depending on your thyroid problem, we will most likely have to get you on medication for at least a year before we can start trying to get you pregnant". On our long drive home from the doctors office my husband and I realized that it could be a very long time before we could get pregnant, because there was no guarantee that I could even get pregnant after that year was up. So that is when we had opened our minds and our hearts towards adoption. And words can't even express how excited I am about or decision, I know it is the right thing for us! Since then we have been filling out all the paperwork through LDS family services. If anyone would like to keep up on our journey, I would love to share it... www.randmsorenson.blogspot.com

I just want to say thank you to all those who have shared their adoption stories, they are such an inspiration and a support to me!
hasEML = false;

(Blog Hostess: We support you 110% Mindy. You are in our prayers.)

Great Video of Adoption.

We are in the middle of experience a new story, which I will share in a few days or so. I recently came accross this video, that we happened to be in...love it. Check it out!

See Video Here

Another GREAT story

When Matt and I had been married for about a year we started trying to get pregnant with our first child. I went off birth control and the very next month I was pregnant. We were so happy and excited and couldn’t believe how fast everything was happening. When I was 8 weeks along I started cramping and bleeding and I went into the doctor’s office and they did an ultrasound and we found out we were having a miscarriage. We were so devastated and were told that it is pretty common, so we forged ahead and a couple months later we tried again and became pregnant for a 2^nd time. We miscarried again, this time at 7 weeks along. I was terrified to even get pregnant again because I didn’t want to go through the disappointment of another loss. I was very lucky to get pregnant a 3^rd time about 5-6 months later , and with the help of my doctors I was able to carry to full term and deliver a healthy baby boy. Our son Max’s pregnancy was a rough one and I spent the last trimester on bed rest due to pre-term labor, but I was very grateful to have him and it was worth all the trials. When Max was a little over one we decided to start trying for a second child and we became pregnant and we were optimistic that this pregnancy would be like Max’s and would work out. Everything went smoothly and we made it safely out of the first trimester and we were so glad to be adding another child to our family. When we getting close to the 5 month of pregnancy I started spotting and bleeding off and on and my doctor couldn’t really find a reason for it. I knew something wasn’t right but they sent me in for an ultrasound and the baby was healthy and had a strong heartbeat and was moving and kicking. I was so relieved. A couple of weeks later we were touring the Parade of Homes and I started cramping really bad. I thought it was ligament pains so I didn’t say anything to my husband and we continued touring and then I finally told him I wanted to go home and rest. When I got home I went to the restroom and was shocked to see I was covered in blood ( I just thought I was sweating) and Matt rushed me into the ER. The ER dr checked me and then sent me to get an ultrasound and the baby was still looking great, and healthy. I was confident that all would be ok. It was a relief to see a heartbeat in the ultrasound. When I got back to the ER the Doctor (insensitive jerk) told me I was already dilated to a 4 and that I was going to lose my baby and then handed me some pain medication and said.. it will probably hurt, and then walked out of the room. Shocked I sat there for 10 minutes unable to even grasp what he had just told me. I went home and tried to sleep but there was no way I could. I wanted to talk to my OBYGN to see what he would say. I called first thing in the morning and he had me come right into Labor and delivery and I stayed there until the afternoon when we delivered a baby girl. She was only alive for 30 seconds before she passed away peacefully in my arms. Our hearts were broken and we buried our baby Anna a week later. Spiritually it was an amazing experience for us, even though it was a heart-wrenching one.

To make a really long story a little bit shorter, we lost two more pregnancies after losing Anna. I needed time to heal and to take a break from thinking about our losses. I really wanted to pursue adoption. I have always had a testimony of the miracle of adoption and I was so excited to get all of our paperwork done. I sailed through the paperwork and 6 weeks later we were approved. We had signed up with parentprofiles.com and we went online on Dec. 2^nd and we were contacted by an expectant mom on Dec 8^th and we emailed back and forth until the end of December and then I drove to meet her for lunch. We hit it off right away and it was such a great feeling when she officially chose us to adopt her baby girl. She still had 3 months left and so we kept in touch and I was even lucky enough to go to an ultrasound appointment with her. Our beautiful baby girl was born March 27^th 2007 and was placed with us on April 1^st. We have an open adoption with Ava’s birthmother and we talk, text email often. We try to get together for visits every 3 months or so and we love having such a great relationship with her. We couldn't imagine our life without her in it.

We just finished our paperwork for our next adoption and we are hoping it will be a smooth journey to our next child. Thanks for letting me share our story. Check out our blog at www.domesticgoddesslaura.blogspot.com J

Laura

November...Adoption Celebration Month

November is Adoption Month. I cannot go by without posting about adoption and the amazing blessing that it is. I am so grateful for my Heavenly Father's plan....for ALL of his children.

Little over two years ago, ours lives were changed by adoption. I have so many thoughts on the topic and have felt at times that as a result of our experience, I am here to sing out to the world, so to speak.

There are reasons for everything, and adoption has been the most blessed learning experience we have had, not just for the sake of being able to be parents and have our lives blessed with little dears, but for so many other valuable lessons in life.

We have learned charity for others and knowing that no matter what ones situation is, with the right direction and love, blessings do come. We have learned a little patience for what is in store for us. I say 'a little' because I am still learning patience. We have a greater understanding of Eternal Families.

Open adoption has been a new road we have traveled. Of course adoption itself was new for us, but having an open adoption with Kya's beautiful birthfamilies has been an eye opening experience. I know at times some wonder if we are doing the 'right' thing by being open, and others wonder if we have Kya's best interest in mind, and even others feel our decision was not the best decision. All I have to say is, 'this is a road we are traveling, one step at a time'.

First and foremost, Kya and her little brother, are number 1 priority when it comes to 'best interest'. They will always be the most important people to us and when it comes to their stories and who they are and where they came from, that will come as it is supposed to.

We love our birthfamilies and we love our families, and the way we see it...ultimately...we are all one family.

I am not here to "preach", open adoption is not for everyone or everysituation. I am just grateful that we have been able to have this experience with our daughter, thus far. I thank my Father in Heaven every day for Kya, adoption, temples, eternal families and the families that allow us to be a family hear on earth.

This post was a lot of journaling, and some celebration, but mostly....unconditional GRATITUDE.

ONE LOVE

Thank you to all who support adoption and all it entails.

Dear Kya,

You are so precious. Your beautiful eyes share so many of those who love you and whom you have touched. When first we talked about having a family, I know as every parent, we wanted to be blessed with someone beautiful, loving, caring, sweet and many others attributes. But never did we dream that you would be all, 100 times, and so much more.

Both your beautiful birthparents have a song for you..."my wish for you"...and this letter is My wish for you. I wish for you to be happy, to love someone, to always be warm. I wish for you to always feel safe in our arms, for you to be giving and serve others, and to feel the love of your Savior everyday. I wish for you to love those who gave you life and those who showed you the world. I pray that you will always know who you are as a daughter of God, where you came from and where you are going. And in the process of this crazy and wonderful journey, that you will enjoy every moment you have here, every person you meet will remember you for your smile and eminating light you have.

Words really cannot express the love I have for you or the gratitude I have for adoption. I wish for you to always know....
Mommy loves you!

Love Mommy and Daddy