When Matt and I had been married for about a year we started trying to get pregnant with our first child. I went off birth control and the very next month I was pregnant. We were so happy and excited and couldn’t believe how fast everything was happening. When I was 8 weeks along I started cramping and bleeding and I went into the doctor’s office and they did an ultrasound and we found out we were having a miscarriage. We were so devastated and were told that it is pretty common, so we forged ahead and a couple months later we tried again and became pregnant for a 2nd time. We miscarried again, this time at 7 weeks along. I was terrified to even get pregnant again because I didn’t want to go through the disappointment of another loss. I was very lucky to get pregnant a 3rd time about 5-6 months later , and with the help of my doctors I was able to carry to full term and deliver a healthy baby boy. Our son Max’s pregnancy was a rough one and I spent the last trimester on bed rest due to pre-term labor, but I was very grateful to have him and it was worth all the trials. When Max was a little over one we decided to start trying for a second child and we became pregnant and we were optimistic that this pregnancy would be like Max’s and would work out. Everything went smoothly and we made it safely out of the first trimester and we were so glad to be adding another child to our family. When we getting close to the 5 month of pregnancy I started spotting and bleeding off and on and my doctor couldn’t really find a reason for it. I knew something wasn’t right but they sent me in for an ultrasound and the baby was healthy and had a strong heartbeat and was moving and kicking. I was so relieved. A couple of weeks later we were touring the Parade of Homes and I started cramping really bad. I thought it was ligament pains so I didn’t say anything to my husband and we continued touring and then I finally told him I wanted to go home and rest. When I got home I went to the restroom and was shocked to see I was covered in blood ( I just thought I was sweating) and Matt rushed me into the ER. The ER dr checked me and then sent me to get an ultrasound and the baby was still looking great, and healthy. I was confident that all would be ok. It was a relief to see a heartbeat in the ultrasound. When I got back to the ER the Doctor (insensitive jerk) told me I was already dilated to a 4 and that I was going to lose my baby and then handed me some pain medication and said.. it will probably hurt, and then walked out of the room. Shocked I sat there for 10 minutes unable to even grasp what he had just told me. I went home and tried to sleep but there was no way I could. I wanted to talk to my OBYGN to see what he would say. I called first thing in the morning and he had me come right into Labor and delivery and I stayed there until the afternoon when we delivered a baby girl. She was only alive for 30 seconds before she passed away peacefully in my arms. Our hearts were broken and we buried our baby Anna a week later. Spiritually it was an amazing experience for us, even though it was a heart-wrenching one.
To make a really long story a little bit shorter, we lost two more pregnancies after losing Anna. I needed time to heal and to take a break from thinking about our losses. I really wanted to pursue adoption. I have always had a testimony of the miracle of adoption and I was so excited to get all of our paperwork done. I sailed through the paperwork and 6 weeks later we were approved. We had signed up with parentprofiles.com and we went online on Dec. 2nd and we were contacted by an expectant mom on Dec 8th and we emailed back and forth until the end of December and then I drove to meet her for lunch. We hit it off right away and it was such a great feeling when she officially chose us to adopt her baby girl. She still had 3 months left and so we kept in touch and I was even lucky enough to go to an ultrasound appointment with her. Our beautiful baby girl was born March 27th 2007 and was placed with us on April 1st. We have an open adoption with Ava’s birthmother and we talk, text email often. We try to get together for visits every 3 months or so and we love having such a great relationship with her. We couldn't imagine our life without her in it.
We just finished our paperwork for our next adoption and we are hoping it will be a smooth journey to our next child. Thanks for letting me share our story. Check out our blog at www.domesticgoddesslaura.blogspot.com J
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