We have a WINNER!

Yay, we have a winner for our $50 gift card.  Thank you everyone that participated in the "open adoption" survey contest.  I truly loved hearing the opinions and ideas of others views of open adoption.  Congratulations Mallory, you were our random picked winner.  Now go buy yourself something pretty.  Love a good giveaway!

As for the conclusion of our recent adoption story.  I've had a few people mention they want to hear the rest of the story.  As for Maddie, there is no more to the story, unfortunately we never did get confirmation of pregnancy from her and she has no longer contacted us. 

As for the lessons learn, there is a whole new story there.  I won't bore you with all the details, but I will share some of my insight and things I've learned.  I understand I am not the only one facing trials, we all have them and we all struggle with our own demons.  I also understand I am not the only one struggling with infertility or the desire to want more children.  Its a righteous desire and I'm sure I will always have this desire to be a mother to more children.  However, this desire does not replace and never will replace the feelings of gratitude I have for the two children I have been blessed with.  My life revolves around them and always will.  They are the reason for everything I do, everyday.  I am eternally grateful to their birthmothers, birthfathers and all our extended family we have gained through their adoptions.  My desire to be a mother again may never be fulfilled here on this earth, and I am finding peace in the fact that I am still a mother and have two amazing and beautiful children already. 

Everyone struggles, everyone has trials they sometimes wish they didn't have to deal with, but I am grateful for my trials because I often grow spiritually from them.  I have learned to look at others with a different light and try to be more understanding that they too are fighting.  I try to gain a greater understanding of my Heavenly Father's plan for me.  There is always a reason we face what we do, and as far as I understand, if we don't learn and grow from them, what is our purpose for our trials. 

I have no hard feelings towards Maddie, if anything I have a greater love for her and her reasons for contacting us in the first place that I cannot explain.  Putting ourselves out there for adoption is difficult, and sometimes can result is pain and confusion.  But it also allows for opportunities to love, it allows for eye opening experiences and ultimately offers opportunity for me to try to become more like my Savior, gaining unconditional love for all. 

Thank you for those who have read and shared.  Thank you for allowing me this outlet to "talk it out", "let it off my chest"...whatever the reason, I am grateful for my experiences.  I pray that by sharing, this can be received well with the best intentions and also portrayed for the reason of mostly learning and growing from our trials.